During a recent coaching session with a C-suite executive, the conversation started where many do, on surface-level updates. We talked about deadlines, projects, and personnel shifts. Underneath the calendar invites and tax return timelines, something deeper was brewing – cultural friction, unclear communication, and the quiet tolerance of behavior that was beginning to rot the roots of the team.
The leader, kind and competent, was navigating tension with a long-tenured employee whose behavior was veering into risky territory. He was undermining decisions, making inappropriate comments, gossiping about leadership, and misusing access to internal systems. Nothing explosive, but enough to create confusion, discomfort, and eventually, liability.
He told me, “He’s not really a problem employee. He’s just low energy, low output.” But then came the list: gatekeeping, passive-aggressive scheduling tactics, crossing professional lines, making team members uncomfortable. I paused and said, “You may not have a performance problem. You have a cultural one.”
The Real Cost of Avoidance
What many leaders forget is that unspoken tension doesn’t go away; it multiplies. When we allow someone’s behavior to slip by “just this once,” we set a precedent of “managing by exception.” When we avoid confrontation to be “nice,” we trade short-term comfort for long-term dysfunction.
I asked him a simple question: “If a new employee behaved this way, would it be tolerated?”
He shook his head. “No. Absolutely not.”
Exactly.
Culture Is Built in the Micro-Moments
One of the most powerful insights from that coaching call was the realization that culture isn’t just set by all-staff meetings or vision statements. It’s built (or broken) in the everyday choices leaders make:
- How directly you communicate.
- What behaviors you address, or ignore.
- Who gets coached, and how.
This leader leaned toward passive communication. I challenged him to shift from asking, “Do you need anything?” to saying, “Where do things stand with that project?” That small shift opens the door to clarity. Passive language often protects egos but sacrifices accountability.
Coaching Is Not a Punishment. It’s a Gift.
We also talked about getting his team more involved in coaching, not just when people are struggling, but when they’re growing. “Frame it as professional development,” I said. “Not correction.” People resist feedback when it feels like a penalty. But when it’s positioned as an investment, they lean in.
And that’s the bigger point here: Coaching isn’t a sign something’s broken. It’s a sign that someone matters enough to develop, before something becomes broken.
What This Means for You
If you’re leading a team, or an entire organization, ask yourself:
- What behaviors am I tolerating out of habit or fear?
- Am I creating clarity, or tiptoeing around discomfort?
- Who on my team could benefit from support, coaching, or a direct conversation?
Every time you let something slide, you train your culture to do the same. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes to reset the tone.
Build a Culture That Can Withstand the Truth
If you want a high-performing team, you have to build a culture where the truth is welcomed, not avoided. That starts with leadership. With clarity. With consistent, intentional coaching.
If you’re ready to have the hard conversations, set new standards, and build a culture rooted in both accountability and empathy, I can help.
Let’s talk about what’s getting in the way of your team’s performance.
